That was almost six years ago to the day as I write this. A lot has changed in my life since then. I’ve since quit working for the Department of Corrections. I’ve been divorced and remarried. I’ve been addicted to methamphetamine, been arrested for theft, forgery, and identity theft, spent thirty days in a hillbilly jail in Mt. Home, Idaho, and most significantly, out of everything in the last six years, I’ve become a Christ follower.

I’ve also told that story often. How I became a Christian. At this time, it’s not about how I was lead to the Lord, but what changes I made in my life when I made that decision. I made decisions that started to change the way I thought. I quit listening to all music that was not “Christian” music. Bands like Alice in Chains, Tool, AC/DC, etc. I quit watching horror movies and violent movies. Even the television shows that I watched were limited to those that did not involve sex, violence, drugs, or other images or actions contrary to the Christian lifestyle. For almost three years, my mind went through a complete “brainwashing.” It was a much needed washing because my mind was dirty. The things I’d done and the things I’d seen with my eyes all contributed to a warped way of thinking. A way of thinking that degraded women. A way of thinking that distorted my view of every situation and every person.

I shared with Debbie the other night that I could call up any image or sexual act that I’ve ever witnessed or been a part of if I so chose. I spent much of my life viewing pornography and then living those fantasies out in the flesh. It’s been proven by medical science that viewing pornography causes physical brain damage. Brain damage that is only now being shown to be able to be reversed. It was through my faith in Christ that my brain damage began to be reversed. My mind began to be transformed by God rather than being conformed to the ways of the world.

Then, something terrible began happening to me. I had spent so much time learning the Christian way and giving up so many things, that it has taken me almost two years to recognize what has happened. I have slipped into a spiritual slump. My attitude has been poor. I fail to read the Word of God. I rarely listen to Christian music and can easily give you many reasons why. The words that come out of my mouth are often reminiscent of my days in the Marine Corps and my life as an alcoholic drug addict. My dreams are often filled with violence and death. My mind has slipped into old patterns and has slowly been conformed to the ways of the world.

There must be an answer why.

I was at a bible study a few nights ago. Normally, I would love to go to bible studies, never being able to learn enough about God’s Word. This night though, I felt like I was on my way to be locked in prison for a life term. I so badly did not want to go. God used that bible study that night to show me the errors of my way. As we were ending, it was time for prayer. I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and as the first person began praying, my mind was filled with images of violence and hatred. I opened my eyes, then closed them. Again, terrible images filled my mind. It was then that God showed me that I had given the enemy a foothold in my life. I had replaced my bible with television.

Shows like Criminal Minds, Law & Order: SVU, CSI, Dexter, NCIS, 48 Hours, Snapped, and the list goes on. Each of these shows portray death, rape, murder, violence, anger, degradation, and the utter depravity of man. Out of curiosity, I searched online and found the ratings for the most recent season. This is what I found; eight of the shows that I watch on a regular basis is in the top 20. What this says to me is that this is what America is watching. Shows that make their money on the stories of rape and murder. We often wonder why America is in the condition that it is in. Could it not be because of what we watch in our living rooms every night of the week? Could it not be because these shows have a very negative effect on our minds and this begins to affect our daily dealings with others? I can’t answer that for every American. I can answer for myself. Yes. Yes. Yes. These shows are affecting how I think, how I act, how I view the outside world. Most importantly, it is dimming the light that is Christ in me. The evil that I view on a daily basis is doing to my mind what cheeseburgers do to my veins. It’s stopping the flow of the Holy Spirit. It’s giving Satan a foothold.

I know, dude, you are taking this a little too far. If you think this, I disagree with you. Casting Crowns wrote a song called “Slow Fade.” Some of the verses go like this:

Be careful little eyes what you see

It’s the second glance that ties your hands

As darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go

For it’s the little feet behind you

That are sure to follow

Be careful little ears what you hear

When flattering leads to compromises

The end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say

For empty words and promises

Leave broken hearts astray

The journey from your mind to your hands

Is shorter than you’re thinking

Be careful if you think you stand

You just might be sinking 1

Focus on that last verse, “The journey from your mind to your hands is shorter than you’re thinking, Be careful if you think you stand, You just might be sinking.” That is the truth. Straight from the Word of God. “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.”2

Throughout the New Testament, we the church are told this. Be holy. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”3

“If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.”4

“According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love.”5

“That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”6

“But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate.”7

“Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”8

What does it mean to be holy? It means to be separated. Separated from sin, separated from the world. Set apart for God’s purpose for your life. How can we be holy when we are witnessing the very works of the flesh right in our own living rooms?

I want to be holy as He is holy. This means that I need to start changing things in my life. Music, television, events, people…all of these things need to be filtered. Would I be ashamed to do or watch any of these things if Jesus were in the flesh sitting next to me? If the answer is yes, then I better examine myself to see whether I be in the faith. I will fail during this attempt. I will give into fleshly desires at times. My hope is that as I call out to Christ to make me more like Him, that I will stop being more like me. I want to fill my mind with things of God, not with things of this world. I want to get to a point that when somebody asks me if I saw some episode on some television show, that I will be so far separated that I won’t recognize the name of the show. I have a friend like that. I used to think he was crazy. That he was “extreme.” I bet he doesn’t bow his head and close his eyes to pray and have his mind filled with visions of murder. I bet he envisions great and glorious things of God.

Praise the Lord for His Mightiness!

1 Casting Crowns “Slow Fade” 

2 1 Corinthians 10:12 KJV

3 Romans 12:1 KJV

4 1 Corinthians 3:17 KJV

5 Ephesians 1:4 KJV

6 Ephesians 5:27 KJV

7 Titus 1:8 KJV 

8 1 Peter 1:16 KJV

Life is like my bible studies. Its better handled in small portions. In the recovery world, we live by that. You’ll here us say amongst ourselves, “One day at a time.” We go one day at a time because in most cases, it’s too much thinking about our sobriety past that. I’ve been sober now for over four years. It’s because Christ gives me strength to make it through each day. I’ve been clean for over three years because again, Christ gives me strength to make it through each day. This is biblical.

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.“ Matthew 6:34

Christ says that it is a waste of todays time to worry about tomorrow. Now don’t think I’m saying that Jesus doesn’t want us to plan for the future. He is not a God of chaos, He wants us to have order and plans. He is saying, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TOMORROW.

It’s so interesting. I started this yesterday morning and as I was putting thoughts together on what I was going to write, I started thinking about our car. Our car was given to us. It’s been a good car and has gotten us many places in the last year. However, the car is old and it’s age is really starting to show. It has a horrendous oil leak and power steering leak. The rear-view mirror fell off when I went over some railroad tracks due to the lack of shocks on the vehicle. There is a part, (I don’t remember the name of it) that costs $350 to replace which will help the gas mileage (currently 11.6 mpg) and help with this lugging at 60 mph. The car is only worth $200 (on a good day). Finally, the other night while driving, the drivers side window came crashing down. It’s now being held up with purple duct tape. The reason I explain all this is because Debbie and I came to the conclusion that we need a new car. So, we went through the process of filling out papers and meeting with a friend that sells cars, but unfortunately due to my stellar (sarcasm) credit, this was a no-go. I say all this to explain that finally, I just gave my car to God. I told Him that I wasn’t going to worry about it any longer. If He kept my car going great, if He gave me a different car great. Not five minutes after telling God this, my friend walked in the door and told me that he and his wife were giving Debbie and I one of their cars. This was to say the least, thrilling news! God used my friend to bless us.

See, God is in control. He holds me in His hand and He knows everything there is to know about me. He knows what I need, what I want. My hopes, my dreams. Most importantly, He knows His will for my life. Why do I need to worry about tomorrow? Today does indeed have enough trouble of its own. It’s through the strength of God that I can overcome each day. If God had not blessed us with a different vehicle, that would be okay too. The point is not that God blesses us. He’s not my ”cosmic banker“ so to speak. He’s my Savior. The point is, that I don’t have to worry about tomorrow because God has it all under control. Even when I struggle with where God is taking me, He knows. All I have to do is trust Him. I need to cast my cares upon Him, because He cares, and worry not about tomorrow, but instead trust Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going. I was thinking this morning about the three years that Christ was in ministry. Then, I was reading Galatians, and thought how Paul took off for three years after his Damascus experience. There isn’t much information about this time. John MacArthur suspects that he was under the instruction of the Lord at this time. I suppose it could have been a type of “on the job training”. I think again how it’s been a little over three years since my own conversion. My Damascus Road Experience so to speak. During this time, the Lord lead me to the church that I attend, He lead me to my mentors, He lead me in His Word. He placed me under Godly supervisors at my job. All this in preparation to do His work.

God just reached down, grabbed me by the hand, and said to me, “NO MORE, MY CHILD! YOU WILL NOT AND CANNOT LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE! IT IS GRIEVING MY HEART AND THIS IS NO LIFE FOR ONE OF MY CREATION! BELIEVE ON THE NAME OF MY SON AND BE SAVED!” So I did. My life has not been the same since.

Now, God is again reaching down to me, grabbing me by my hand, and saying to me, “NO MORE MY CHILD! YOU WILL NOT AND CANNOT LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE! IT IS GRIEVING MY HEART AND THIS IS NO LIFE FOR ONE OF MY CHILDREN! SURRENDER TO ME AND I WILL CONTINUE TO SAVE YOU!”

God delivered me from the wicked life of alcoholism and drug addiction. I was on fire and I was doing so well. Now, I’ve traded these addictions in for more “socially acceptable” sins. I over eat. Everyday, I over eat. It’s time to surrender. It’s time for me to recognize that this body is His temple and He dwells within. I wouldn’t put methamphetamine inside of my body again, why do I put this abundance of food and fat inside of my body?

Debbie is constantly on me about my food choices. Not because she likes to harp on me. It’s because she loves me. She’d like to see me stick around for awhile. Well, doesn’t it make since that if I love my Lord, and I love my wife, I should maybe listen to them? It makes sense to me.

I think that God is going to use me. I think that He just has a few more things to fine tune. So, I will ask you to pray for me, and I will begin to surrender. Oh to live only for the Lord, this is my desire. Praise the Lord for His Mightiness!

My wife and I were shocked when our friend called and confirmed that for us. She was doing so well. We’d all been praying for her. We gave her a support system. How could this have happened? This why the recovery ministry is so hard. People still have the choice to continue on a path of righteousness or a path of destruction. WE STILL HAVE THE CHOICE TO SIN.

I’m writing simply to vent and to give a shout out to the “RECON” team. They didn’t have a clue what to do, but they did what the bible says. They provided food, clothing, comfort, love, and they prayed. That’s all we can do. They also wore the clothes of righteousness and that girl saw Jesus Christ for the two days she spent with them. She saw His Grace, His Mercy, His Unconditional Love for her. The seed that was planted in her youth, had some water poured on it. The bible tells us that when we plant and water, the Holy Spirit will do the growing. I believe that she had some growth in her life. I believe that an impact was made. I believe that one day, she will make the decision to stop sinning through drug abuse, and the Lord will deliver her from this addiction.

If you are reading this, you can help. You can pray. Pray for Debbie and I, pray for “RECON”, pray for the girl (God knows who she is even if you do not), pray that we can reach just one person today with the Gospel message. With the message of hope and freedom. Pray for everybody that devotes so much time and energy to so many different recovery ministries. It’s a battle. Not against flesh and blood, that would be easy. We are in a battle that has already been won. However, the enemy wants to try to squash our hope and wants to take our eyes off of our Savior. Pray for us. Drugs really do suck.

I try to live my life the way God’s Word tells me too. I try not to be a Bible “thumper.” I try to show people that I’m still imperfect but that I’m trying. I’m told by unbelievers that I think I’m better than them, etc. I don’t feel that way. What am I doing wrong? I pray. I ask for wisdom and guidance in sharing the Gospel.

You would think that I was in some hostile anti-Christian country. Nope, I’m here, in the great USA. The same USA that I served as a Marine. You would think that I was in the middle of some hostile area of the USA. Nope, I’m in the midst of my own family.

My step-father hates me with a passion I can’t understand. I immerse myself in recovery meetings, in church, and yet have no impact on my family. Again, I ask, what am I doing wrong? I admit that I’m far from perfect. That I’m still a sinner saved by grace. I give when I can give. Help when I can help. Yet feel that I am doing more harm than good when it comes to my family.

I feel alone. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we will all sit around a table and somebody will want to pray. I ask why? Who are they praying too if not God the Father? What is the purpose if you don’t stand firm and believe that the Word of God is TRUTH. What’s the point?

It’s a battle and I know in my mind it’s spiritual warfare. Sometimes, even though I know the ending of it all, I feel like I’m losing the small battles.

“Now the Lord is that Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.”

     Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. This was my verse this week at work. It helped me remember that no matter what is going on in life, where the Spirit is, there is freedom! I’m struggling with this, a lot.

     I know that I’m indwelt and sealed with the Holy Ghost[1], yet sometimes, it seems I forget this and feel like I’m stuck in bondage. My living situation is not ideal. I’m a recovering addict/alcoholic living amongst non-recovering alcoholics. I’m a Christian trying to live a life pleasing to God, yet live with people that know who God is but refuse to open their hearts to Him. I’m married and being obedient to the Word regarding marriage, yet feel so distant from my wife because we are in a forced separation. I’m surrounded by negativity, often feeling beat down by the enemy of the brethren. I fail to recognize that there is liberty where the Spirit of the Lord is.

     Matthew Henry’s Study Bible defines the liberty Paul speaks of as follows. “Freedom from the yoke of the ceremonial law, and from the servitude of corruption; liberty of access to God, and freedom of speech in prayer. The heart is set at liberty, and enlarged, to run the ways of God’s commandments.”[2] So, as we think about the word liberty, God is telling us that where His Spirit is, we are no longer under the law[3], we no longer need to be a slave to sin, the veil of the temple has been torn[4] and we now have free access to God and can come to Him in prayer.[5] We are set free to follow the two great commandments, “Love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength[6] and love our neighbors as we love each other[7].

     Back to my problem. How do I as a Christian remind myself that I am free no matter what my circumstances? The study of the Word combined with prayer is the only way. I’ve realized this recently. I read the Word of God on a daily basis. Yet, I forget that where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. When I’m walking to work or before I’m preparing to do something, I pray. Yet, I forget that where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. I HAVE to study and meditate over the WORD OF GOD. If I want to feel that communion, if I want to experience the freedom of liberty, if I want to be reminded that there is liberty where the Spirit of the Lord is, then I have no other option in this life.

Praise the Lord for His Mightiness!

[2] Matthew Henry, The Matthew Henry Study Bible KJV (World Bible Publishers, 1997) 2038

[3] Romans 6:14

[4] Matthew 27:51

[5] Hebrews 4:16

[6] Matthew 22:37

[7] John 15:12

Bethany Baptist Church (503) 362-2488

1150 Hilfiker Lane SE

Salem, OR 97302

Friday Nights 6:00pm – 9:30pm

Launch Date: January 2003

Grace Community Church (503) 393-7515

5105 Lancaster Dr. NE

Salem, Oregon 97305

Tuesday Nights 5:45pm – 8:30pm

Launch Date: October 2007

Morning Star Community Church (503) 581-2477

4775 27th Ave. SE

Salem, Oregon 97301

Tuesday Nights 6:00pm – 9:00pm

Launch Date: September 2007

Salem First Church of the Nazarene (503) 581-3680

1550 Market St. NE

Salem, Oregon 97301

Sunday Nights 5:00pm – 8:00pm

Launch Date: March 2006

Salem First Free Methodist (503) 581-3633

4455 Silverton Rd. NE

Salem, Oregon 97305

Saturday Nights 5:00pm – 8:00pm

Launch Date: April 2007

     “Hi. My name is Dan. I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and am in recovery from meth addiction and alcoholism.”

     That is how Danial Ficek of Salem introduces himself at sessions of Celebrate Recovery.

     He credits the 12-step program with keeping him clean from his addictions for a year and a half.

     “The Lord has restored my relationships and my health,” Ficek said.

     Because of his belief in and commitment to Celebrate Recovery, he helped begin the program at Morning Star Community Church in South Salem this fall and serves as outreach coordinator.

     While all 12-step programs pride themselves on their anonymity, Ficek was willing to be identified to help spread the Celebrate Recovery message.

     He is 32 and describes an addictive lifestyle that started with drinking hard liquor at 12. He continued that until he had his first hit of methamphetamine at 29.

     “I was hooked as soon as I started it. The first day I used methamphetamine was the last day I drank. That was how powerful it was that one time.”

     He heard about Celebrate Recovery two years ago while sitting in a jail cell in Mountain Home, Idaho. He was held on a grand theft charge and was in Idaho to avoid his Oregon crimes.

     “I came back down here (to Salem from Idaho) to face my charges. I just got off probation last month.”

     After taking care of his forgery, theft and drug possession charges, he got a job as a restaurant cook. His wife Deborah is serving her own sentence at the Coffee Creek Correctional Facility in Wilsonville and is scheduled to be out in May. She is doing the Celebrate Recovery program with a volunteer who drives up from Salem.

     “What is really cool about Celebrate Recovery and sets it apart from the secular program is it combines worship time with a teaching each week,” he said.

     It was started 16 years ago at the famed Saddleback Church of Lake Valley, California, pastored by Rick Warren, author of “The Purpose Driven Life.” Associate pastor John Baker developed the program to help overcome addictive behaviors in a Christian setting.

     The pastors studied the Bible and developed Scripture verses for each of the 12 Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous steps. The verses are based on the Beatitudes, “The blessed are they who…” passages.

     “We recognize the higher power as being Jesus Christ,” was how Ficek put it.

     The weekly meetings at Morning Star start with dinner, for which a $3 donation is sought. It is followed by an hour of worship and combined teaching. During a final hour, men and women go to separate smaller groups.

     Depending on demand, the “hurts, habits and hangups” groups are for alcohol and drugs, food or sexual addictions, codependency or other issues.

     In Salem, other Celebrate Recovery groups are sponsored by Bethany Baptist, First Church of the Nazarene, First Free Methodist and Grace Community churches.

     The Rev. Wayne Robbins, Morning Star associate pastor; said of Ficek, “He is a super-good guy. He knows from what he speaks and has had issues in his own life. That is why he is so involved in Celebrate Recovery.”

     Information on the program is available at www.celebraterecovery.com.