Dan and Deb

So, I show up to work this morning, and the executive director asks to see me. I of course said sure, and followed her into her office at which point she informs me that she has to suspend me effective immediately. Wow. Two weeks before Christmas. No Work. No Money. Bills Due. Did I say, No Money?

You’re probably thinking, “What did this guy do?” Well, a few years ago, this guy got into some trouble with the law, which resulted in me receiving two felony counts against me. Now, this job I work at, requires a criminal background check. Well, I filled out the paperwork, hid nothing, and was told that all was good, I was approved to work, and so it has been for the last six months. So, what’s the problem, right?

The problem is this. The former executive director failed to do his job properly and did not sign off on my paperwork. What’s this mean, well, that I never should have been working. Now, here I am, waiting on a second criminal background check, which will most likely end up being denied.

Where’s this leave me? Out of work. Unemployed, two weeks before Christmas. Bills are still due. No Money. Child support is still due. No Money. And oh is that ever a problem. I’ve already lost joint custody of my children. What else shall hit me.

Dad’s dead. Mom’s a wreck. With my job put on hold I can’t help pay the mortgage. I’m being garnished by the state, the IRS, and some credit card from eight years ago. Kelly, I love you though, I do have the Total Money Makeover book by Dave Ramsey. Now, I just need a job. HAHA

Sometimes, I want to scream. I look back on decisions in my life and feel like I’ve screwed up so many things that I’ll never recover. When it starts looking bleak though, I have to look at the victories.

I have one failed marriage, but my marriage today is not a failure. Debbie and I are together through whatever trials and know that we’ll pull through as long as we stay on the same page heading the same direction.

My boys love me. I’m honest with them and I don’t rule over them with an iron thumb. They love me. I love them.

I’m an alcoholic that hasn’t had a drink pass my lips in almost four years.

I’m a meth addict with almost three years clean.

These things are only for one reason. And if you read my blogs you were probably wondering when it was coming. Well, here it is folks. JESUS CHRIST. That’s it. He’s the reason that I’m not drinking when I lose my job. He’s the reason I’m not high when I lose my job. He’s the reason that in the midst of our failing economy and my looming future floating above my head that I have hope. People will put me down and say bad things about me at times, one person I think of specifically, you know who you are. But that person has not a clue who I am. I’m a child of the Most High God who will deliver me and my wife through this time of trouble. He is my God, He is Jesus.

Well, I just needed to vent. So there goes.